growing up, cont'd

I used to think I had a grasp on the growing up thing, and I definitely don't miss college. So I thought.

I don't miss college how I think most people do -- the people, the relative carefree nature, always having something new to do -- but rather I miss the routine. Those who knew me knew I was always overbooked for everything. If it wasn't just the sheer nature of being a chemical engineering major, it was a cappella rehearsals and concerts, marching band functions (and parties!), tae kwon do practice or testing or tournaments, or working my shift at the library or heading to the lab to work on that project (and get money for it!). Engineers partied hard when they could, and otherwise were banished to do problem sets when others were going out.

In high school, my main activities were track, tennis, math team, concert band/orchestra and generally running amok in the courtyard. I unsuccessfully carried over these things to college (though I tried...I also wanted to do cheerleading or rugby) and picked up what I listed above. High school to college was a definite transition for me. And it felt pretty good to learn new things and I think I changed for the better. (Apparently that's when Diana rage died down.)

In my attempt to center myself in the real working world, instead of exploring and finding new interests, I've held onto my college ones. I sing with a guy and write songs and record them sometimes for kicks...I work and train at a tkd school...and though I couldn't get the marching band aspect, it seems I've just latched onto my apartment sports teams and I can't let go. I need season after season of whatever they'll offer -- volleyball, bball, softball, soccer, tennis so far. And goodness knows I make unnecessary effort to see live sports.

Who knows how, but I didn't realize this until today. I'm feeling a little stuck, in that young adult rut, and I think still doing these activities out of habit and not out of actual interest is keeping me from actually moving on from college and enjoying my new life. I'm tempted to wipe the slate clean, and pick up something new. I could be in a dance class or a book club by now. (Actually, bartending classes are first up on the list when there's time. =P) I think I was supposed to apply to law school around now. My bad.