Thursday, May 17, 2012

unconcerned ignorance

This is a shirt I wore yesterday to a baseball game.

The name of this Woot shirt was "Be What You Want". I've been of this attitude lately, or trying to. For the most part, no life-changing revelations. I've just been caring significantly less about what people think about me. I'm more open about pole fitness, I don't try nearly as hard to try and fit in with say, my kickball and soccer teams, and I'm giving serious consideration to getting a prescription for colored contact lenses. I've always liked the idea of having them as an accessory, and it's hard to place exactly why I never truly considered it.

I do what I want! Nothing too life's not like I'm off to pursue my rock star dreams or going back to school for something I might actually be interested in.

So I like the message of this shirt. :-)

Then again...should I even be wearing shirts like this anymore? As I'm turning 27 soon I feel like when my sisters were this age, the older one was telling the younger one to stop wearing and buying t-shirts, and have a more grown-up wardrobe. At the time I was in college, and probably didn't agree or disagree one way or another. But here I am, wearing unicorns and rainbows in public, with my painted nails (currently, left hand is bright red-orange and my right hand is a shiny purple), passing it off as just part of my personality. But I've been thinking recently, is it that? Or have I failed to grow up?

Why are my biggest concerns still social perceptions and things like the color of my eyes? Shouldn't I be more concerned with where my life is going? Or at least dressing, acting, and feeling like an adult? For all I know, maybe the key to getting into a grown-up routine of work and exercise and chores and cooking can start just from dressing and feeling more adult and capable? I've let time pass so fast, that just yesterday it seemed like "oh you're young enough to pull of this look" and now I'm feeling oddly close to that mom you see in the store wearing pink sweatpants, fitted at the top with writing across her ass, bearing her midriff since her girlish tank top is just too short.

Then again, either way this mini-debate goes, I'm only talking about clothes.

I guess I'll never escape the thinking that links what the superficial might say about things that are not.

And next time the clothing donation drive comes to work ( waiting for "Fall Sweep") I might have to seriously reconsider my wardrobe, and how it reflects on my lifestyle. Maybe it's not what I want.

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